Grandma had a home birth

So I have to confess that I was a little reluctant to share my decision to have a home birth with everyone.  I was select when I firth put the word out.  I began with the home birth, doula and midwife communities.  I sort of needed to have affirmation.  And boy were we affirmed and encouraged, so we leaked it out to close friends and people a part of our day to day communities.  As word spread, I realized I would and should share our decision with everyone.  This is what it is to truly own our decision.  So I crafted a carefully worded email to send to old friends and family that I hadn't heard the news yet. 

Why was I so reluctant to share the word more broadly?  Well, because I realize not everyone has been exposed to the idea of home birth as a safe and normal place to birth a baby.  Many people have a strong fear of being anywhere else but a hospital come birth time.  And I totally get that, and for those people, I would imagine that the hospital would be the best place for them.  But I'm the one birthing this baby.  Hospitals are not places that make me feel safe.  Doctor's are not people who make me feel safe.  Doctors and hospitals are totally necessary and I'm incredibly grateful for their availability and expertise when I'm in an actual emergency or have gotten truly sick and need some serious medicine.  But for the natural processes that our bodies were meant to do, I'd rather have a friend, a partner, an experienced guide or even a spiritual leader hold my hand and support me through this natural, but admittedly "big deal" process.

Anyhoo, I was afraid I would start getting the phone calls, "what are you doing?," "are you crazy?," "are you sure it's safe?," and so on and so on.  Even though I had done my research and felt confident in my decision, I wasn't sure I would be able to ease all of the worries.  In my email I made it clear that we were close to the hospital and ready to go there in the event that a medical condition warranted it or if I came to a place where I opted for it.  Also, I assured them that our midwife was well equip with monitoring devices, emergency medication and the knowledge and experience to transfer us to a hospital if necessary.

At first I didn't hear any response.  This just made me more nervous.  Where they gathering and planning an intervention?  Would this be a reason to just stop talking to me?  But a day or two later I got an email from my dad.  Home birth is actually not a foreign concept to him.  He was born and raised in the Philippines and, duh, many births take place at home!  He said it was still common there especially in small towns like where he lived, because there aren't hospitals nearby.  I had never really thought about that.  I've been to the Philippines, so I should of thought of that.  So maybe it wouldn't actually be that difficult for my dad's side of the family to think about.

Well, the result of that email I sent out was nothing but support and I'm so touched and humbled by that.  It's a reminder to trust in people.  Whether everyone understands my decision or not they have supported me.  I am so blessed to have such amazing support!

After my dad got me thinking about what birth in the Philippines was like for them.  I didn't know the birth stories of my dad or any of his siblings.  A couple nights later after receiving donations from family that I had not expected nor solicited from, I had a dream I was at a gathering with my dad's side of the family.  I'm not sure what we were doing, but we were all hanging out in a room sitting in a circle.  I saw my Lola (who passed many years ago) sitting there.  She was a younger version of herself and wearing a formal dress suit and a hat.  I sat at her feet and she leaned over to me and said, "you know, it's going to be OK, I had a home birth with a midwife too."  I don't remember anything else from the dream, but I held on to that.  I was close to my Lola and it was so sweet that she came to me in a dream to tell me her story.

A few days later I was talking to my dad on the phone and his eldest sister, Alma, was there.  He told me that she was planning on donating to me and to look for a check in the mail.  So I asked to talk with her so I could thank her for her support.  As we were talking and I had already forgotten to ask about their births, she mentions that she was born at home.  Actually the 3 eldest sibling had been born at home!  There is something so special in knowing that.  I guess it's just a reminder how connected I am to a natural birth history.  We all area really, hospital births are relatively new in our human history.