Our Home Birth

Monday, January 9, 2012

Our Birth Story (Part 1): Choosing Home Birth

OK, it's been over a month since Sequoia Rain was born and I've been promising to get my birth story out to folks. So let's see how it goes...

I think it's important to begin with how we came to choosing a home birth. For those of you who've been following this from the beginning, sorry to re-hash.

Our pregnancy wasn't a planned one, but we had been talking about having a child in the future, so it didn't take us long to adjust to the news and get excited about it. Excited and nervous. We weren't ready to have kids. Well, who's ever ready? But seriously, we weren't sure how we were supposed to manage this giant life change. We were running a small start up food business that hadn't shown definitive success or not. We had lots of ups and downs, and we always managed to pay rent, but lots of insecurity too. A difficult place to be in when you have the responsibility of having a baby lurking in the future. I've got MediCal for insurance, so lucky for us I knew our hospital bills would be covered and even luckier I realized that we could have the baby at St. Luke's Hospital, which I had heard was relatively progressive and had a low c-section rate. I began their centering program (a group centered approach to birth preparation) and was continuously telling myself how lucky I was to have all that I had available to me (which was true), but what I wasn't admitting was how deep inside I wished I could have a home birth, but since it wouldn't be covered by MediCal I didn't think it would be an option for us.

My step-sister and friend, Tara Brooke, offered to be my doula at no cost. She had introduced me to home birth from her profession and also from the birth of her own children. I had a few other friends in my larger circles that had their babies at home too. After having seen home birth videos, including Tara's, and having started reading Midwifery and natural birth books I saw how much the home birth experience was in alignment with the way I try to live. It's about being present, it's about trusting in our bodies natural capacity, it's about comfort and safety, it's intimate and loving, and it's about allowing yourself to be really supported!

One day towards the end of my pregnancy Tara reflected that it sounded as if I was choosing my hospital birth as an option solely because of my financial restrictions. I didn't think of it as choosing, I didn't think I had other choices, but in that moment I realized that wasn't true. We often create barriers where there are none instead of recognizing the endless opportunities available. Then everything shifted for me and all of a sudden I owned that what I really wanted was a home birth and that I should be doing everything I can to make that happen. If I couldn't find the $ or the midwife or the special conditions that would allow for a home birth, then it would be time to accept the hospital birth and feel gratitude for what was available to me. So the light bulb went on and I decided I would raise the funds by seeking support from anyone and everyone that I knew. I'd throw a fundraiser event, I'd look for scholarships, I'd seek midwives that would offer a discount, and I'd do whatever it took!

So, at something like 7 months pregnant I began my campaign. I started this blog, I found a midwife and with the help of friends I put on a fundraiser craft/jewelry/art show. Once, I made the shift and owned my true desires, I absolutely knew that we'd raise the money. Which we did! In the process I discovered the true girth of our community. It extended beyond just family, beyond our tried and true friends; it includes all kinds of caring and/or interested parties: friends of friends, strangers from the home birth community, work associates, folks in my herb class, other food vendors, people in the birth community and beyond! It was amazing to see how our community grew in response to putting ourselves out there. It was incredibly inspirational and it has caused me to want to give back. That's why I want to continue this blog. I hope that any couple or woman wanting to create a birth atmosphere that feels safe, supported and loving is able to see all the opportunities available. I'm even thinking of starting a fund for expectant mothers in need. But that's another chapter.

End of Part 1

Quick she's napping!

Well I'm just over a month into mommy-hood and I'm finally taking 2 seconds to update my blog :). Actually, I'd say that's pretty impressive. Oh, I don't know, what do you think? What's normal anyway? What am I supposed to be able to accomplish in a day?

I'm feeding and changing diapers most of the time and I'm watching Netflix TV shows while I'm doing it (which makes me feel like some terrible sloth). I do intermittently turn off the excess stimuli and get present with my sweet little girl and the miracle it is to breast feed, but it's hard to stay in that special place each and every feeding every day. That's OK, right? As you can tell the mommy guilt started already. Well, since guilt doesn't do anyone any good, I'll let go of that now.

I'm going to have to go back in time for a while, till I catch up to the present day. I'd like to write our birth story first, then...

panic/worry
sleep deprivation
getting out
falling in love
becoming legit
finding support
on our own

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Support Us

Hello Dear Community-

We are reaching out for your support in our recent commitment to have a home birth.

On a deep level I have always had faith in the naturalness of birth, and more importantly in my power to birth how and where I feel most comfortable. But for most of this pregnancy despite this inner desire to bring our baby into the world in a safe, supportive and intimate setting with my partner, I've only been able to see financial and social barriers. So, instead of finding ways to move towards that which I most want, I've been trying to make the best of, or come to terms with what seemed like my only option.

As my pregnancy has advanced, something has recently shifted in me. As this little girl gets closer to entering the outside world, I'm now able to own what my real hopes and desires are for this birth. I see that how we honor and participate in this Right of Passage impacts who we will be as parents. We don't want to make choices for fear that we won't get what we want or that people won't understand our choices or might be uncomfortable. Instead we want to move towards that which feels right in our hearts and that we think is most important and then have the grace to accept whatever actually happens.

So now that we trust in my body, trust in our intuition and trust in our resourcefulness, it is time to ask for what we need! We've already received some financial support, my friend and step-sister Tara Brooke is gifting us her knowledge and support by offering to be our Doula and we have found a wonderful midwife, Sheila Vanderveer, that we really connect with, that feels very supportive and that we trust has the ability to safely guide us through this birth process- even if that means the hospital becomes the appropriate place to be. She has graciously discounted her fees and given us a little extra time to come up with our funds, but we're gonna have to really pool all of our resources to make it happen! We need to come up with $3,000 by my due date (Nov 24)!

We are asking for donations of any size or small no-interest loans with a promise that we'll pay you back within a year. We will also have a jewelry and craft fundraiser on November 13th (details to come), just in time for your holiday shopping! If you know any artists, jewelers or crafters in the San Francisco area that might be interested in selling their wares and donating a small portion of their sales to our cause, please have them email me at magichomebirth-at-gmail-dot-com.
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