Belly Photo Shoot

Brian and I realized that our little baby is going to show up ANY day now, so if we want some belly shots we better try for them.  Outfitted with actual film and a 35mm camera, plus our iPhones, we did our own little photo shoot. The film still needs to be developed, but here is what the iPhone caught...

Part 1 was taken on Treasure Island a couple of weeks earlier.
Part 2 was taken in Heritage Park, La Honda, CA @ 36 weeks pregnant






Later my friend Spencer took some prego shots of me over by Chrissy Fields

Circle of Life

I wanted to share this insight I felt when I was watching the movie 50/50 the other day. The movie was pretty lovely and Seth Rogan is hilarious, but I'll spare you my critical analysis of the entire movie, I'll just say it's worth checking out. I think being pregnant I feel more connected to the fact that birth and death have an intimate relationship. They are the passages in and out of this world. Without spoiling the movie I'll just tell you it's about a young man diagnosed with cancer and his odds for survival are 50%, hence the title. Well, one of the things I realized watching the hospital scenes is how sensitive and intimate it is to be faced with mortality and the medical world is very ill equip to deal with the emotional and spiritual aspects of death and illness. I've heard that there is a special kind of "midwife" that assists in the death process. That makes so much sense to me! I think there needs to be a midwife and/or doula for death. It is too important of a transition in our life to be unassisted in that way! It is our final moment on this plane, just as sacred as our first moments.

We are overwhelmed by your love and support!

We just received a $1000 cashier check with no return address and signed from your fans. We are in complete awe! Tears of joy are being shed. Truly we're not sure how to even absorb such an amazing gift. We want to send out our heart felt love and appreciation to ALL of you who are making this possible. To those of you supporting us through kind words, actions, and money! Seriously, it feels like nothing short of a miracle. I must tell you that the inspiration I have received from this journey is life altering. I am touched and will not be the same. I have a feeling that after I get to spend some serious quality time with this little girl, I'm going to have to start a home birth fund! I want to keep giving and sharing support the way we have received. Phew, I need to let this sink in.

Thank you! Thank you!

$1000 Cashiers Check "From Friends Who Love You"

I must admit it has taken me awhile to get onboard with the home birth process. Part due to my ignorance about the process and partially due to my fear that we couldn't afford it. When it became clear to me how important it was to Lenaya, I agreed despite my misgivings. As I began to learn more about the process of birth and the often disempowering way women are treated at the hospital my eyes opened to the possibility of a different birth experience in our own home. I realized that this was really one of my first real actions as a parent and it made me begin to think about how I want my daughter to come into this world. From what I've learned the most important factor in this process is that mother and baby feel safe and supported through this process. Despite this new understanding I still felt that our financial reality did not allow for this to be a real possibility. I felt full of fear about this financial burden and had little faith that we could make it happen. My amazing partner, Lenaya, was in a completely different space; she was full of faith and belief that we should not limit ourselves by what we can see. I was skeptical and dubious as she setup the blog, starting planning, a fundraiser and put the call our to our communities. I was still struggling with some shame and stories about how we would be seen as irresponsible parents not being able to take care of ourselves. Combined with a string of disappointments with the Magic Curry Kart and starting the dreadful process of job hunting, I found myself feeling a bit hopeless in the face of such an exciting and amazing process. I had lots of judgement towards myself and I think expected to be judged by others. To my bewilderment I have been met with unbelievable kindness, generosity and support from family, friends and complete strangers. This morning we received a $1000 cashiers check from our "fans" with a memo: "From Friends Who Love You". Despite trying to act like a tough guy from a small cowboy town in Northern Arizona this struck me to the core and I can't stop the hot tears from running down my face. I think I felt that we somehow didn't deserve help but I'm learning that the opposite is true, we all deserve and need help somewhere along the road. Thank you to all who have supported us through this process in so many ways. It feels so sweet how loved we are and how loved our baby girl will be.

Business of Being Born

Believe it or not we're just watching this for the first time and we highly recommend you watch it too if you haven't yet.







Watch online:
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/business-being-born/

Looking for Art

I'd like to use images to create magnets and jewelry for my home birth Jewelry and Craft fair.  Doesn't feel right to steal images off the internet, so I thought I'd put a shout out and see if you'd like to share.  I won't use your images beyond the use of this event without your permission.  If you have made birth art and have photos, jpeg or other digital images that I could use, please email to me at magichomebirth-at-gmail-dot-com.  Thanks!

Needing to Rest

I'm in the home stretch of this pregnancy and so much is telling me it's time to take care of myself, to focus on getting our baby and I ready for labor.  But life doesn't always want to coordinate.  Of course, I suppose some of that it has to do with learning to let go.

Brian and I have been running a small food business that he started a couple of years ago.  It's still pretty new and we've learned almost everything about it from on the job training!  It's sustained us for the last year though, so I guess it's been going well enough.  It is has constantly been evolving and I guess growing, which has been great, but with this huge transition in our life, I think we're both craving more predictability and a bigger sense of security.  Is that out there for us?

In an effort to make some extra money, and with hopes that it would give Brian a little breathing room so he could slow down and cozy up with us at home for a couple weeks after the birth, we decided to take on a sudden opportunity to vend at a few large festivals.  The expectation for bigger than usual financial outcomes coaxed us into taking the plunge on a pretty big expansion of the business.  We had to invest in material infrastructure and we had to figure out how to plan, staff and execute the largest events we've ever been a part of!  All this while I entered my third trimester and suddenly felt my body ask me to slow down!  Wow, what a challenge.  A great learning!  Filled with some serious accomplishments and some serious disappointments.

As the three festival challenge comes to an end, I'm left feeling exhausted and disappointed that we didn't find the financial relief we were looking for.  More than that, I feel the weight of it all on my partners shoulders and I feel sorry, a little lame and completely useless.  I know I have to just let go and focus on my most important job now which is the well being of the mommy vessel and the precious cargo inside, but Brian is my partner in many more ways than one and I find myself worried about how he's being supported.  I know we just have to trust and actually I do.  I trust things will continue to work out for us.  I trust that we're skilled enough, resourceful enough, and connected enough to adapt to our changing life.  I just want to share my faith with him, so that he doesn't have to carry all the worry, so that he can be present to the joyous miracle we are in the midst of.

I guess what I need to trust in, is Brian.  That he can manage his own feelings around all of these changes;  That he can find perspective in our tenuous business developments;  That he will reach out for the support he needs and that he can also receive the blessings that abound.

Heart Swell

Dear Community-

I don't even know what to say!  Thank You!  We have already raised $620 since I posted this and I have 3 people who have come forward in interest of helping with the jewelry and craft event!  I am so touched and overwhelmed.  I realize that this is so much more than us just having a home birth and it's even bigger than us being the parents we want to be.  This is us being supported!  This is our community growing and becoming ever more a part of our lives.  This is such beauty that I hardly know what to say.  It makes me want to paint a picture of the swelling I feel in my heart, for I could never find the words to fully express these emotions!  Thank you!

This weekend has actually been a bit stressful and checking in on our website response just turned my frown upside down!  I've been thinking about all the thoughts swirling in my head and I would like to try and keep up with some of them... a few are worth sharing.  Please check-in, because I plan to post daily, or as near to daily as I can!  More on that this evening :).

Love,
Lenaya

Nourish Us

Greetings Friends and Family,

As you know, my family will be inviting our new baby girl into the world (due 11/24/11). We are very excited for our new addition and are doing what we can now to prepare us for the birth and what to expect as our lives change forever. 

We've found MamaKai and have registered to receive healing meals delivered to our door around our "birth"day. MamaKai will give us the freedom to bond with our new baby, relieving us from the stress of "what to eat" for our nutritional and breast feeding needs, and ensuring that we bounce back quickly.

Thank you for being in my community and for aiding me in the great miracle of parenthood! Every dollar counts and I sincerely appreciate your help in providing us with comforting and nourishing foods. 

Click HERE to show your support and MamaKai will do the rest! 

What other new mommies say about MamaKai:

The nourishing, nutrient-rich food prepared with love by Angie enabled me to enjoy a healthy, complication-free pregnancy. I was amazed by how quickly my body healed after child birth and postpartum. I continue to feel healthy and vibrant both physically and mentally. Also, Angie makes it so easy to eat well; by stocking my refrigerator with healthy food all I have to do is reheat it for a delicious meal in a matter of minutes. A healthy baby starts with a healthy mother and I am thrilled to have a baby who is calm and happy and sleeps well through the night! - V.P.K. – Berkeley -